Two Eskimos

November 21, 2009 by phiangle

Two Eskimos sat on the edge of the ice flow looking ay their Kayak, first Eskimo says

“Bloody cold – this ice fishing business”

The other Eskimo replies

“Hang on – I’ve got a good idea, I will bring some firewood with us tomorrow, just a little bit and I will build a small fire to keep us warm in the Kayak when we are fishing tomorrow”

So the next day they set off fishing and as one Eskimo paddles the Kayak the other builds a small fire between them.

The fire is only very small, but it gives off enough heat to take the edge off the cold.

But, after a couple of minutes the Kayak burns through, icy cold water rushes in and the Kayak sinks.

The two Eskimos swim to the shore and as they haul themselves out of the fridged waters one turns to the other and says

……………….

Wait for it

……………….

“I guess it goes to show that you cannot have your Kayak and heat it”

 

I thank you!

I have lived through swine flu!!!

November 12, 2009 by phiangle

I’m alive!!!

It started the previous Sunday, the usual swim for my planned triathlon (gulp) next year lacked the usual energy and I felt very cold.  I struggled through a mediocre 760m swim and lolloped to the showers.  Monday and I had to visit a site in the cold and damp, I had that feeling of cold bones and by home time I felt very second-hand.  The last words I uttered to my boss as I walked through the door were ‘I might not be in tomorrow as I might be dead (ho ho)’

Tuesday morning and the duvet was oh so heavy.  My elbows and knees were sore and I had a bit of a temperature.  Now, I had flu at Christmas and didn’t enjoy it, but I didn’t feel as bad as I did then.  I decided that I would stay in bed as I was confident my work chums didnt want me coughing over them.  As the day went on I felt progressively worse, so I phoned my doctor. “dont come in here with it” was the receptionist reply.  I was advised to phone the Swine Flu Hotline.  The nice chap from the Swine Flu Hotline said “I am going to ask you some questions now, if you answer yes to any of the first ten, I want you to hang up the phone and dial 999″.

As it turns out I wasnt dying, but I did get Tamiflu.  Now by Wednesday I was in a real state, it felt like somebody had cut my face off tenderised it for a while and sewed it back on.  I was shivering and couldnt get out of bed.  I was worried about the Tamiflu, but at that point had someone told me that sticking live wasps up my bum would make me feel better, I would have considered it!

I took my first 75mg tablet Wednesday evening, by midnight I was well into hallucinating, mostly colours blues, yellows and large patches of red.  When I shut my eyes the veins left a bright yellow streak across my eyes.  It was an interesting time!

A couple of days of Tamiflu and I really did feel the difference, by Sunday I was almost lucid again.

I still feel tired, and have a cough, but Im alive!!

 

Watch this space.

Boris Johnson, super hero (well not exactly but …….)

November 4, 2009 by phiangle

Say what you like about the old chap but I dont recon you would get too many other politicians would do this ……….

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/london/8340865.stm

And on the other hand you have this completely unbelievable story

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/8342668.stm

 

YOU COULD NOT MAKE IT UP!

Please see Inspector Gadget for more like this.

http://inspectorgadget.wordpress.com

And remember, be careful out there

I have swine flu

November 3, 2009 by phiangle

Well I have been diagnosed down the phone as having a lot of the symptoms of swine flu and they have given me Tamiflu, which I am yet to collect.  Well actually I have been told to send someone else to get it, as a man is coming round to paint a big red X on the front door.

The problem is that we have a three year old child running around and my wife is 4 months pregnent.  Pants!

The thing is, how do I know its actual piggy flu?

I had a phone call diagnosis from a chap in a call centre, how can he tell the difference between normal flu and piggy flu or a heavy cold?

I dont feel as bad as when I had normal flu last Christmas.

Watch this space!

UPDATE

HOLY CRAP

I take it all back Swine Flu is the worst thing I have had virus wise.  I genuinely feel like there is something very wrong with me.

I have somebody picking up my Tamiflu today and I cannot wait!  If it makes me fell less like something is trying to kill me from then inside out then balls to what the media says about it – dose me up!!

I am keeping away from the rest of the family who seem OK at the moment.  Tried sleeping on the sofa last night, but that didnt work.  Going to blow up an air bed tonight and try sleeping on that.  All else fails there is a camping ground mat kicking about somewhere – or even the bath.

Going to stop typing now as the clicking of the keys sounds like somebody beating an anvil with a hammer.

BLAUGH!

The most popular position in the army

November 1, 2009 by phiangle

When I started doing Kendo, many years ago, the instructor would have these little talks to us.  The first talk on the first week stuck in my memory.

We were all sat crossed legged in a row, the tradition is that the highest grades sit at the top of the hall and the less experienced at the other end.  We all had our Shinai (big wooden sword used for lamping each other) placed by our sides ready to bow out and the instructor offered this little gem.

“The most popular position in the army is the Gunner.  The world is full of people who are gunna do this or gunna do that.  By coming here tonight you have taken the step for being a gunna to being a do-er, you are no longer a gunner ………………..”

There was more to it, but the important part of the message is there.  Since then I have practiced 3 different martial art forms and now I am dabbling in triathlon.  But I try to carry this ethos with me in all aspects of my life, which is why I am now amazed by the amount of gunners that I meet.   People that are gunna run a marathon, gunna get a motorcycle, gunna start the part-time degree.

Life is too short to be a gunner, you cannot sit the grandkids on your knee and say “when I was your age I was gonna do this to gonna do that”

James May and the Plastic Spitfire

October 27, 2009 by phiangle

Well ………………

I just watched James Mays new program on BBC2 in which he took a group of school children and built a 1 to 1 scale Airfix model of a Spitfire.  I have to admit I was completely hooked for the full hour.

It wasnt a great engineering feat, there was no great technological detail and to be honest it didnt feature much of the original Spitfire.  However, what did keep me watching was the positive attitude of the children in the show.  It’s rare to see these day kids on the TV doing anything except stabbing each other, smashing old ladies over the head and drinking and drugging themselves to death.

So I dont think James May promoted AirFix in a big way, but his did make good in-roads into proving that there still are good kids out there and we dont have to abandon all hope just yet.

Thanks James ………………….

Why do I bother?

October 26, 2009 by phiangle

Particularly negative sounding title for a blog, but ……………………

Just reading Inspector Gadgets Blog and it made me think, why do we bother getting up in the morning?

I am a Civil Engineer, I maintain the infrastructure that carries you about.  If I do my job right, nobody notices, thats kind of the point of my work.  Well thats not exactly true as lots of people tend to notice the miles of traffic cones we put out, but not the actual detail of the work.  So apart from the cones, nobody really notices what I do.  If I do my job right then things tick over from one scheme to the next.

The modern litigious environment we live in these days means that if I dont do my job right then I can find myself subject to investigations, interview under caution, prosecution and possible imprisonment.  However, if I do my job right and some element of it should go wrong, then I could find myself subject to the same scrutiny.

Life is all about balancing risk with reward, so lets examine the equation……

The rewards, well I am not in it for the money thats for certain, my aging saloon car with its budget tyres are testament to that.  The satisfaction of a job well done? hhmmmm?  The kudos attached with being a Civil Engineer?  Socially Civil Engineers are on a par with geography teachers on the coolness strata.

The risks? if it all goes wrong? The sack? Interview under caution? Fines? imprisonment?

This equation doesnt seem to balance.

So they question why bother?

What the hell else am I going to do?  Rock Star? Emu Farmer? Beer tester?

Sometime the Duvet weighs particularly heavily.

But you still get up ……………………….

Body Shock

October 25, 2009 by phiangle

I had been a keen amateur martial artist, having studied Kendo, Iaido and Aikido.  However, 3 herniated vertebrae put pay to that.

After the birth of my little one I did no real excercise for about 3 years and as I watched the gentle swell of my belly grow I decided to do something about it.  But what?  Gentle walks in the park? Maybe a bit of hill walking? Nope – why not try a triathlon?

So with that stupid though in my mind I set out returning my body from its round shape to a more angular finish.

Swimming

I used to swim a lot and dabble in surfing, so the swimming side wasnt too tough to get back in to.  I started out doing 150m and building up, currently I am up to 1200m, I am aiming for the mile.

Cycling

I have a trusty and slightly rusty (cheap) mountain bike.  This is not the traditional road racing fodder, never the less I have persisted and I am currently doing regular 10 – 14 km rides.

Running / Jogging

OH MY GOOD GOD.

My body was never designed for running.  I can manage about a kilometer in short burst, then I fall in to a quivering heap at the road side.

I have been told that cyclists dont make good runners, I dont know if this is true.  What I can confirm is that fat blokes that havent taken regular excercise do not make good runners.

I have pains in my shins, stitches, headaches and feelings of imminent vomit when running. 

I have been told this is normal, bugger!

BNP and the BBC

October 24, 2009 by phiangle

I have to confess I am not the greatest follower of politics , but I did watch the Question time program this week.

I felt it uncomfortable viewing, but for all the wrong reasons. 

Over the last 12 years or so I have had the priviledge of working with highly professional people from countries all over the world, all kinds of colours and religions.  The vast majority of them have been decent hard working individuals who want to get on with the task in hand.  So, I hold no truck with the politics based on colour or religion.  I am a great exponent of live and let live, though it should be noted that this is a two way street.

Anyhow, back to question time.  I had to keep turning over because I found it uncomfortable viewing, its very rare that a television program makes me feel physically uncomfortable but QT managed it.  I am not a regular viewer of the program, I watch it occasionally and I would imagine like many other people, made a note of watching this one.

I have never really given the BNP much thought, educated through the media of their political leanings, I have never really looked into their manifestos or policies.  To be honest nothing I saw will change that.  However, a number of things struck me out of the whole days events.

Firstly the antifascist protestors raised an interesting  juxtaposition with the demonstrations against Mr Griffin.  To deny someones freedom to speech would seem like a fascist trait, now I want to make it clear that I am not casting aspersions on any bodies politics.  I am sure the demonstrator’s intent was to prevent the preaching of what they thought would have been the politics of hate.  But I cannot see that the BBC would have allowed the BNP to use Question Time as a political spring board.  However, what they did do was give his peers(?) on the panel the chance to have at him at every turn.  So what?  Maybe he deserved it? 

Now in the days of conspiracy films such as the Da-Vinci Code, where the public see cunning  subterfuge as the political norm what is the upshot of this?

Did the constant Griffin bashing drum up sympathy for the man and the cause?  I dont know!

Was the pre-QT demonstration organised in part by the BNP to draw attention to the show? again I dont know.

All I do know is that I had to turn over the program, and not for the reasons I would have expected.  I tuned in expecting to see a (excuse the pun) black and white characterisation of the BNP.  I thought that Mr Griffin would expose himself as a bigoted racist.  Instead I had to turn over because I saw what amounted to picking on the fat kid in the playground.

My politics are my business and thats the way I am going to keep them.  I have friends from all over the globe, people that I respect for themselves, their colour, race, religion or belief has never been a factor.  I guess you can draw your on political conclusions from that.  All I know is that I am now more confused than before I watched the program.

Hello world

October 23, 2009 by phiangle

Hello world,

Having wandered around the blog-osphere for quite some time, I thought I might have a go.

I dont want to give too much away about me or exactly what I do, but I work in the field of Civil Engineering and Construction and I find myself afloat on a sea of paperwork, bottom covering and very little actual engineering.

More to follow when I work out how to drive this thing ………